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Working on My First Movie Script: La Yogert


I have started a movie script called “La Yogert.” The movie will be based on my personal experiences with the yogurt of a similar name (La Yogurt). In the movie, a young corporate executive, whose wife decides she does not love him anymore, decides to make him miserable each day by making his lunches. This may not seem like an evil plot--quite the opposite in fact--until the woman starts putting a single, Pina Colada, six-ounce container of La Yogert yogurt in his lunch each day. If you've ever eaten an actual La Yogurt yogurt, you know that the woman does not need to tamper with the yogurt. The yogurt will know what to do. Those who have eaten La Yogurt knows that removing the foil lid from a La Yogurt will ALWAYS result in a splattering of yogurt somewhere on the opener's person: face, clothes, hands, forearms, maybe even on the wall!

The husband laughs about his first splatter of La Yogert (called La Yogert in the movie to avoid copyright infringement against the actual La Yogurt brand) the first day his wife packs his lunch, but with each passing day of splatterings he gets angrier and angrier. Eventually, he learns to peel off the foil facing away from his body in a direction similar to the way one would use a knife to peel a potato, but this results in various co-workers and eventually even his boss getting splattered. He is eventually ostracized at work, demoted, and finally let go in a corporate right-sizing but not after his employer had sent him to a therapist to attempt to salvage his career. (He is unable to muster the courage to ask his wife to buy him a different, more corporate-executive friendly yogurt.)

In the climactic scene of the movie, his therapist attempts to remove the foil from a La Yogert yogurt after telling her client she doesn't get what "the big deal is about opening a little six-ounce plastic container of yogurt." After repeatedly getting splattered by La Yogerts over and over, the therapist punches a hole in her office wall.

I am now grateful that La Yogurt ALWAYS splatters me when I open the foil lid because it gave me the courage to write my first movie script. Now I will become rich and famous and it is all because La Yogurt ALWAYS splatters me when I open the foil lid.

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