Rainey Blogs on Some Days

I was back in my hometown last summer visiting with my old high school friend Elton Skelton at the annual 4-H barbecue. We were both eating a thick barbecue sandwich, corn on the cob, and homemade potato salad when I started telling him about New Jersey. He thought it was the strangest place in the world. He kept saying, "Well, Chrissy boy ( He always calls me "Chrissy boy" ), I don't know how you live out there in a place like that!" I then asked him if he were to try to explain to someone from New Jersey what Mount Vernon is like, what would he say? Well, he had plenty to say and I've tried to summarize his rather lengthy response below. “What’s it like in Mt. Vernon, Chrissy boy?  Well, first, I'd tell 'em: Let’s get this straight—it is nowhere close to Chicago! Okay! Try 280 miles SOUTH of Chicago! Chicago gets most of our tax money and wastes it on bribes and other such corruption. You think it is an accident that Blagojevich and Obama a...

I painted the basement electrical room today.  It always feels good for a Midwesterner like me to complete some sort of home repair activity successfully.  Here in North Jersey , it's not all that important to fix things yourself.  In fact, out here in the East it is more impressive to have someone else do the work for you.  But where I come from it is shameful to have to hire someone to do your home repair or mow your yard.  So for me, there is often a battle between the old Midwesterner and the new Northeasterner in me.  There are other battles between these two diverse dispositions inside of me.  The Midwesterner in me desires food in bulk, which means all-you-can-eat buffets and smorgasbords are the preferred eating establishments.  The quality is not nearly as important as the quantity.  Why not have a taco appetizer along with some fried okra from the food bar while waiting for the sirloin steak to come with the baked potato dripping w...