In honor of 2012
being the final year Car
Talk would record new shows, I have decided to launch a car
advice column in 2013 to take advantage of the strategic opportunity due to
diminished competition in the auto repair advice space. Who knows?
Maybe I will finally get my big break. So here goes with some of my
best advice.
- Get your child an old car when he or she gets a driver's license. Too many parents nowadays buy or lease the golden child a new car. Why? Learning what to do when your car breaks down is a valuable life skill. Plus, with cell phones it's just not that hard. The engine dies. You pull out the cell phone and make a call. The tow truck comes within 45 minutes or so. It's not that big of a deal. Back in the old days, breaking down was tough. You stood by the road and hoped someone would pull over to help you. Usually they did, but it was usually some rough-looking guy with a beard because those are the people who know about cars. He would get out a tool box, lift the hood, and ask you to try to start it. He would poke around for a few minutes, but finally you would jump into a car with a complete stranger with a beard while he took you somewhere to call, usually a pay phone. You thought about scenes from every scary movie you ever watched. Then you would realize you had no change, and this was even before phone calling cards. You would have to borrow a quarter or make a collect call to be able to get help. The stranger would have to stay with you to make sure help came. It was a complicated convergence of events that had to take place to work through having a car break down. Today, it's a piece of cake with cell phones: you call for a tow, sit and wait, surf the web or update your Facebook status with “car won't start LOL,” and then they come and tow you away. The tow truck even takes AMEX. Big whoop: you broke down. So don't waste money buying or leasing a new car.
- Never wash a car. It will just get dirty again. Besides, what do you think rain is for? That's right: God's car wash! So please don't waste time or money washing the car. Besides, cars are mostly plastic these days, and plastic doesn't rust. (My cars are so old they still get rust, but a little rust never hurt anything.)
- Always back into a parking spot because you never know when you will need a jump start. In 2012, I actually had a two-week period where I had to be jump started three times between two of our cars. During the same two week period, I then had to take lunch periods and go get a replacement batteries for the car. I learned that somehow the economic recession had resulted in batteries doubling in price. (This has me thinking about getting an MBA so these kinds of things won't be such a surprise to me when they occur.) So my life was consumed with car batteries for that two-week period. Oddly, even though women are now able to serve in combat, the women's liberation movement has never seemed to push for women taking care of battery problems with cars, at least at my house.
- If you're a coach, don't turn in the soccer or softball equipment to the league. Keep it in the trunk over the winter. Seriously. The extra weight in the trunk will keep the car from fishtailing on icy or snow-packed roads.