When I was growing up, there were only two bald-headed men in the world: Yul Brynner and Telly Savalas. It was so rare in those days. But now, it seems like every man is bald, shaving and shining their heads. Even Yul and Telly wouldn’t stoop to having grungy-looking facial hair, but now every man seems to want a little facial hair to complement their golden domes too. This is terrible! I have always done the opposite--keep off the facial hair but keep the turf on top. Still do, even now in middle age. But it would figure that I have to be the one to reach middle age WITH HAIR in a time when it is NOT POPULAR. Who would have known “bald is beautiful” would take over the world just when I should have an advantage. To be honest, I didn’t even try that hard to keep my hair. I used the cheapest shampoo--usually the 99-cent Suave (with a coupon)--and never used conditioner. I wore a baseball cap whenever I wanted (even though I wasn't covering a bald spot), an act that is universally known to damage the weakest hair because of the friction caused while removing the cap. Sometimes I even washed my hair with a bar of soap! So my hair has not had a namby-pamby existence or been catered to like some men‘s hair. This hair earned its place on this gourd.
In the old days, having hair would have been viewed as a stroke of good fortune. Honorable. Meathead was going bald on All in the Family, but he still let his hair grow long because NO ONE WANTED TO BE BALD! When I was in the Marine Corps, they shaved our heads on the first day to humiliate us! Getting a little hair back was a sign we had almost made it through boot camp. Being bald was shameful. Getting a little hair back was a sign of acceptance! Remember when lots of men would let the few strands of hair they had left grow long so they could comb it back over the head to the other side to cover the baldness? How did we go from that to a time now no one wants to have hair! And why did I have to reach middle age when being bald was the “in” thing to do? Why? I feel guilty, almost foolish having hair! And then, to make matters worse, I’ll hear an NPR broadcast where they say something like “Going bald is a sign of increased levels of testosterone.” Really? Baldness a sign of manliness? Who figured that out? Probably some bald guy in a white coat in Connecticut. They’ve turned my virtue into vice.
Someone in our church told me just this past week that it looked like I was getting a “little thin” on the crown of my head. I felt around on the area with my hand and it seemed that while there was decent hair coverage, I have noticed in recent years that being in the sun makes my scalp really hot, as if the sun was just shining directly through my roof. Maybe it will happen to me too. Maybe I am beginning to get one of those Al Roker bald spots that's small and then just overtakes the entire head until guess what? Yes, Al shaves his head now too!
So as I gather my courage to face the inevitable, I just remembered a story in the Bible that seems to endorse baldness:
In the old days, having hair would have been viewed as a stroke of good fortune. Honorable. Meathead was going bald on All in the Family, but he still let his hair grow long because NO ONE WANTED TO BE BALD! When I was in the Marine Corps, they shaved our heads on the first day to humiliate us! Getting a little hair back was a sign we had almost made it through boot camp. Being bald was shameful. Getting a little hair back was a sign of acceptance! Remember when lots of men would let the few strands of hair they had left grow long so they could comb it back over the head to the other side to cover the baldness? How did we go from that to a time now no one wants to have hair! And why did I have to reach middle age when being bald was the “in” thing to do? Why? I feel guilty, almost foolish having hair! And then, to make matters worse, I’ll hear an NPR broadcast where they say something like “Going bald is a sign of increased levels of testosterone.” Really? Baldness a sign of manliness? Who figured that out? Probably some bald guy in a white coat in Connecticut. They’ve turned my virtue into vice.
Someone in our church told me just this past week that it looked like I was getting a “little thin” on the crown of my head. I felt around on the area with my hand and it seemed that while there was decent hair coverage, I have noticed in recent years that being in the sun makes my scalp really hot, as if the sun was just shining directly through my roof. Maybe it will happen to me too. Maybe I am beginning to get one of those Al Roker bald spots that's small and then just overtakes the entire head until guess what? Yes, Al shaves his head now too!
So as I gather my courage to face the inevitable, I just remembered a story in the Bible that seems to endorse baldness:
From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths (2 Kings 2:23-24).Maybe being bald is not so bad after all.