New York. Fallen rock star Prince’s musical comeback through last year’s CD and tour of the same name—Musicology
—brought a mixed response from old and new fans. Long-time fans were excited about Prince’s return to the quality blend of rock and funk that made him a superstar in the 80s and early 90s. Unfortunately, Prince’s comeback was not without controversy among his newfound religious brethren. His etymological explanation of the term “musicology” frequently given at the nightly opening of his 34-city tour upset Jehovah’s Witness church officials. In each concert, Prince explained that the original Greek word behind the -ology portion of the word musicology is logos, a word that means "word" or "study." He then summarized his overall point by saying that the word musicology meant the study of music. As an example, when Prince opened his Madison Square Garden concert in New York, he emerged from a small guitar case in a haze of purple fog with black horned-rim glasses explaining the Greek etymological background of musicology. Then, as Prince’s band The New Power Generation ratcheted up the tempo and volume, the Purple One threw his glasses into the audience and shouted “ . . . so tonight, New York, we’re gonna give you the study of music!” and launched into the title track of the new CD. This explanation angered the many Jehovah’s Witnesses church officials from the nearby Watchtower headquarters in Brooklyn who were in the audience to see their famous church member.
Church officials cite the absence of the definite article with the word musicology and suggest Prince should call his concerts “Musicology: A Study of Music” instead of “the study of music,” believing the lack of a definite article in the word demands it be translated with the indefinite article. This line of reasoning just happens to be the same argument Jehovah’s Witnesses use in their New World Translation Bible for John 1:1, where it reads: "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was a god.” This quirky translation stands behind a key Witnesses dogma—that Jesus was not God but is only the son of God. Prince’s musicology musings apparently jeopardize this sacred teaching in church officials’ minds. One church official who requested anonymity but had attended the concert suggested, “If Prince goes on tour again soon and tells people musicology is definite—the study of music—we might as well just say that John 1:1 tells us Jesus is God and tell our several million worldwide members to close up their Kingdom Halls. This is that big for us!”
According to a source at the Jehovah’s Witnesses headquarters, Prince’s local Kingdom Hall in Minnetonka, Minnesota recently suspended him from Saturday morning door-to-door visitation for six months and recommended him for a remedial Bible doctrines course.
Despite the confusion over the etymology of musicology and his new church’s response, Prince remains committed to his newfound religion. He had revised several of the song titles and lyrics from some of his greatest hits to reflect his religious conversion. Here is a sample of songs and their revisions from the Musicology tour play list:
· The sleepy rock anthem “Purple Rain
” is now “Patchy Rain,” a song about the Saturday weather forecast, always a concern for Witnesses who go door-to-door on Saturdays.
· The riveting, rocking “Let’s Go Crazy” is now “Ain’t My Birthday,” a song about Prince refusing to acknowledge his birthday, a Witness practice, when band members throw a surprise party for him.
· The lonely but jazzy “How Come U Don’t Call Me Anymore?” is now the haunting, “How Come U Don’t Have a Christmas Tree Anymore?” in which Prince’s girlfriend asks him how he could give up celebrating Christmas to become a Jehovah’s Witness.
· “Raspberry Beret
” is now “Raspberry Bible,” a song about Prince’s struggle with being more interested in an attractive girl than her Bible, which has a raspberry-colored cover.
· “Why You Wanna Treat Me So Bad
?,” a song about a relationship with a troublesome lover featuring Prince’s trademark falsetto and screaming guitar solo, becomes “Why You Wanna Give Me Some Blood?” in which Prince argues with a doctor who wants to give him a blood transfusion, a practice forbidden by Jehovah’s Witnesses.
· The sexy, sensual “U Got The Look
” is now the practical, up-tempo “U Got the Books?” a song where another Witness asks Prince if he has all of the literature needed for a Saturday morning door-to-door campaign as they drive away from their Kingdom Hall.
· The 1983 Top Ten hit, “Little Red Corvette
,” a song about Prince’s Saturday night date with a loose girl, is now “Little Red Chevette.” The revised version is about one of Prince’s early experiences as a new Witness going door-to-door with a team of four Witnesses crammed together in a red, 1985 Chevette with a hole in its muffler.
As is Prince’s custom, he refused all requests for interviews through his publicist to clarify if he intends to apologize for his tour’s message. Watchtower officials are anxiously awaiting a response from the enigmatic, reclusive pop star. Rumor has it that Prince was recently seen in Greenland observating penguin migration patterns for an upcoming project.
This fictitious article was conceived during Prince's 2004 comeback tour with the album Musicology, which coincided with his becoming a Jehovah's Witness.
—brought a mixed response from old and new fans. Long-time fans were excited about Prince’s return to the quality blend of rock and funk that made him a superstar in the 80s and early 90s. Unfortunately, Prince’s comeback was not without controversy among his newfound religious brethren. His etymological explanation of the term “musicology” frequently given at the nightly opening of his 34-city tour upset Jehovah’s Witness church officials. In each concert, Prince explained that the original Greek word behind the -ology portion of the word musicology is logos, a word that means "word" or "study." He then summarized his overall point by saying that the word musicology meant the study of music. As an example, when Prince opened his Madison Square Garden concert in New York, he emerged from a small guitar case in a haze of purple fog with black horned-rim glasses explaining the Greek etymological background of musicology. Then, as Prince’s band The New Power Generation ratcheted up the tempo and volume, the Purple One threw his glasses into the audience and shouted “ . . . so tonight, New York, we’re gonna give you the study of music!” and launched into the title track of the new CD. This explanation angered the many Jehovah’s Witnesses church officials from the nearby Watchtower headquarters in Brooklyn who were in the audience to see their famous church member.Church officials cite the absence of the definite article with the word musicology and suggest Prince should call his concerts “Musicology: A Study of Music” instead of “the study of music,” believing the lack of a definite article in the word demands it be translated with the indefinite article. This line of reasoning just happens to be the same argument Jehovah’s Witnesses use in their New World Translation Bible for John 1:1, where it reads: "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was a god.” This quirky translation stands behind a key Witnesses dogma—that Jesus was not God but is only the son of God. Prince’s musicology musings apparently jeopardize this sacred teaching in church officials’ minds. One church official who requested anonymity but had attended the concert suggested, “If Prince goes on tour again soon and tells people musicology is definite—the study of music—we might as well just say that John 1:1 tells us Jesus is God and tell our several million worldwide members to close up their Kingdom Halls. This is that big for us!”
According to a source at the Jehovah’s Witnesses headquarters, Prince’s local Kingdom Hall in Minnetonka, Minnesota recently suspended him from Saturday morning door-to-door visitation for six months and recommended him for a remedial Bible doctrines course.
Despite the confusion over the etymology of musicology and his new church’s response, Prince remains committed to his newfound religion. He had revised several of the song titles and lyrics from some of his greatest hits to reflect his religious conversion. Here is a sample of songs and their revisions from the Musicology tour play list:
· The sleepy rock anthem “Purple Rain
” is now “Patchy Rain,” a song about the Saturday weather forecast, always a concern for Witnesses who go door-to-door on Saturdays.· The riveting, rocking “Let’s Go Crazy” is now “Ain’t My Birthday,” a song about Prince refusing to acknowledge his birthday, a Witness practice, when band members throw a surprise party for him.
· The lonely but jazzy “How Come U Don’t Call Me Anymore?” is now the haunting, “How Come U Don’t Have a Christmas Tree Anymore?” in which Prince’s girlfriend asks him how he could give up celebrating Christmas to become a Jehovah’s Witness.
· “Raspberry Beret
” is now “Raspberry Bible,” a song about Prince’s struggle with being more interested in an attractive girl than her Bible, which has a raspberry-colored cover.· “Why You Wanna Treat Me So Bad
?,” a song about a relationship with a troublesome lover featuring Prince’s trademark falsetto and screaming guitar solo, becomes “Why You Wanna Give Me Some Blood?” in which Prince argues with a doctor who wants to give him a blood transfusion, a practice forbidden by Jehovah’s Witnesses.· The sexy, sensual “U Got The Look
” is now the practical, up-tempo “U Got the Books?” a song where another Witness asks Prince if he has all of the literature needed for a Saturday morning door-to-door campaign as they drive away from their Kingdom Hall.· The 1983 Top Ten hit, “Little Red Corvette
,” a song about Prince’s Saturday night date with a loose girl, is now “Little Red Chevette.” The revised version is about one of Prince’s early experiences as a new Witness going door-to-door with a team of four Witnesses crammed together in a red, 1985 Chevette with a hole in its muffler.As is Prince’s custom, he refused all requests for interviews through his publicist to clarify if he intends to apologize for his tour’s message. Watchtower officials are anxiously awaiting a response from the enigmatic, reclusive pop star. Rumor has it that Prince was recently seen in Greenland observating penguin migration patterns for an upcoming project.
This fictitious article was conceived during Prince's 2004 comeback tour with the album Musicology, which coincided with his becoming a Jehovah's Witness.