Skip to main content

I’m Turning Into a Stay-at-Home Man


When my wife’s grandparents were in early seventies, my wife and I were in college in Southern Missouri and they came with my wife’s parents to visit us from Southern Illinois and stayed overnight in a hotel. This was the first time in their lives they had ever not been at home to go to bed at night in their own bed. Ever. First time. Let me repeat: they had not been away from home for one night in their lives. No vacations to the Grand Canyon, no overnight trips to the Grand Ole Opry, and no traveling so far from home that they couldn't get home by bedtime. I thought it was one of the craziest things I had ever heard at the time.  Now I don’t think it is so crazy.

As I get older, I find that I like being home, keeping an eye on things, and seeing who is coming and going in the neighborhood.  I work from home at least two days a week and this has only made me appreciate being at home more. When I’m home, I can take a look and see if my roof missing any shingles. I can tell you that no one else in my house would even think to check that. Are there leaves sticking out of the gutter? I’ve seen houses that have little trees growing out of the gutter, and I do not want that at my house, clogging them up because that water will find somewhere to go, and it is usually somewhere inside the house. Also, by being at home, I can put out the garbage on Monday night and Thursday nights. Otherwise, who will do it if I’m not there? I’ve occasionally been gone for a business trip or something and when I get back, guess what? Everyone was too busy to put the garbage out! I also like being home to put out the recycling on Tuesday nights so it can be picked up on Wednesdays. This is another of my big responsibilities and a good reason not to be away from home. We alternate between paper recycling one Wednesday, followed by plastic recycling the next Wednesday. Kind of complicated, right? But if I’m home, I manage it with ease (mainly by looking out the window before I get the recycling to see what everyone else is putting out). 

Of course, there’s also the back end of the garbage/recycling day process too. After the town garbage truck comes and picks up the garbage, the men leave the garbage can or recycling bin by the side of the road, usually on its side. When I’m home, I go out and get the can right after they come by my house and put it back in its place at the side of our house. Otherwise, the can/bin is just left out by the road to be blown around or stolen. After one paper recycling day last year, our red recycling bin disappeared because no one was there to keep an eye on things, and now I have to use a gray plastic tote! (If I were home every day, this would not have happened.)

Now that I’m working from home sometimes, I’m also finding out what kind of neighbors I have. No one is supposed to put out their garbage or recycling before 6:00 p.m. the night before it is picked up. But guess what happens a lot of days? Yep, you guessed it! Some of my neighbors put the cans out early, thinking no one is paying attention. But I’m watching! I’ve seen my neighbor put her garbage out at noon the day before the garbage collection. Noon!  So I’m sitting there in my living room, working from home and enjoying the beautiful view and keeping an eye on things, and now I have to look at a hideous brown garbage can outside by the road SIX HOURS EARLY! I had no idea she was doing this until I started working from home.  But when I get up in the morning and look out the window, I often see her garbage overturned and her little bag of garbage strewn all over the sidewalk. Sometimes raccoons do God’s work.

Speaking of mornings, there are also responsibilities then too. Every day, I get two newspapers, so I want to make sure I get them early before they lay on the ground too long and someone steals them, or it rains and soaks them through the plastic and renders them unreadable. It used to be the delivery of the newspaper was very mysterious because they were always there by the time I got up in the morning, even when I got up at 5:30 a.m. But now, since fewer and fewer people actually have a newspaper subscription, I’ve noticed the newspapers are using the same carrier for the Wall Street Journal, New York Post, New York Times, and the Bergen Record. I don’t know how they keep all of that straight! I know it is a challenge because I’ve gotten newspapers I don’t even subscribe to in the morning, or occasionally I’ll get the paper I stopped subscribing to last year. And with one carrier for all of the papers, the papers are delivered later and later in the morning. In fact, I’ve had to go to work some days before the papers were delivered. But when I work from home, I am there even if they come at 8:30 a.m. So as you might expect, I prefer to stay home during the day so I can keep an eye out for the newspaper.

There’s one more thing I haven’t mentioned: Bulk Trash Day! That’s right, every other Thursday is Bulk Trash Day. It is a little complicated because every week has a Bulk Trash Thursday, but only half the town gets their bulk trash picked up on any given week, followed by the other half of the town being picked up the next week. Again, it takes a lot of planning and organizing to get the day right when you have bulk trash. Maybe it’s not like this in your town, but where I live, we distinguish between ordinary garbage and trash. According to the Leonia Recycle/Garbage web page, garbage is defined as “kitchen wastes only” while bulk trash is “household furnishings such as chairs, sofas, rugs and other misc. items.”  So as you can imagine, Bulk Trash Day is a big deal. I have neighbors  who always have bulk trash to set out by the road on Bulk Trash Eve (Wednesday night), but we often have nothing, mainly because we just keep using our old furniture and other  junk while the neighbors throw out their old furniture and junk. I am often tempted go out and grab some of the stuff my neighbor has put out by the road that is better than what I have in my house, but I’m afraid I’ll get caught.  So Bulk Trash Day is a big deal at a number of levels. 

With all of these things going on during the week, you’ll understand why why I was excited to get back from our European vacation that included Spain, France, Italy, Greece, and Malta. It was a great trip and I really enjoyed the vacation a lot, but I was glad to get home to get back into the routine of garbage, recycling, bulk trash, and one more thing I just forgot: yard waste! I trimmed the hedges and the bushes in the yard this week, and now I have about three full cans of yard waste that I’ll need to put out by the road on Sunday because the town will be by on Monday to pick that up. So with Monday yard waste, Tuesday garbage, and Wednesday recycling, every other Thursday bulk trash, and Friday garbage again, there’s always something exciting going on in my neighborhood. It’s almost a full-time job.

When I was young, I couldn’t understand why my wife’s grandparents didn’t really go anywhere during their entire lives until they came to visit us that one time. I don’t think they ever went anywhere else. Now, with all of the stuff I have going on here, I totally understand. How can I go away when there’s so much excitement each day?


Popular posts from this blog

The Monotony of Commuting

I have spent most of the past twelve years commuting at least one hour a day: 30 minutes to work, and usually 40 minutes to return home. I have tried a number of things to avoid monotony, such as taking as many different routes as possible. I may be the only person in the world who uses a GPS to commute home from work because I try new routes and end up in unfamiliar places. To make the most of the commuting time, I have tried a number of things. I have listened to the Bible and prayed, although it seems a little irreverent to interrupt the prayer yelling at someone who has cut me off. I have listened to Christian radio, which means I have heard the song " I Could Only Imagine " over 5,000 times. I have listened to pop radio. I have listened to the music of my youth to somehow re-energize portions of the brain and keep my mind sharp. Sometimes, I switch back and forth between Christian and pop radio, alternating between joy and guilt. I have listened to talk radio and sports ...

My Reflections on My UPS Career on Founders Day

We were given a choice whether or not those of us who were having a milestone service year wanted to speak on Founders Day in our department meeting. Since the one consistent feedback I have gotten during my entire 25-year career at UPS was that I don’t speak up enough in meetings, I thought I would make up for the whole thing here today. No one intends to have a long career at UPS. You come to work at UPS as a temporary thing while you are planning your life. Those plans do not include UPS. We come for the benefits, the tuition assistance, the non-standard hours that don’t interfere with classes or our other real jobs. Parents don’t envision their kids growing up and working for UPS. I think these are just the basic realities of life. I worked the majority of my career in Information Services Learning & Development or Corp HR Learning & Development. I would have never lasted 25 years had I been in Operations. I know exactly how long I would have lasted in Operations had I wo...

How I Spent the Morning of My Birthday? Getting an Oil Change

I am spending my birthday this year getting an oil change. I do not need a TV in the waiting room at the Chrysler dealership while I am waiting for my car to be serviced. I would prefer silence with all of us just sitting here looking at each other every now and then, imagining what the other person's life is like. For example, a woman is sitting across from me who looks like a young Woody Allen and I'm just thinking to myself, “What are the chances on my birthday of seeing a woman who looks like Woody Allen?” Just when I was having doubts about getting an oil change and tire rotation on my birthday, this unexpected gift comes to me. I also do not need the psycho reality TV shows yelling and screaming in the background. I can sit and read a book or write a few paragraphs on my steno pad while I wait. Same thing for the airport. I don't need a TV or laptop or iPad to babysit for me while my flight is delayed. I can use the time to think, to ponder the meaning of li...