Rainey Blogs on Some Days

He wears a hoodie, and this is why wearing a hoodie is wrong. Point of clarification: I'm talking about wearing hoodies and actually putting the hood up on your head. This is the point where it crosses the line. You don't have to agree with me, but this is how I see it. So if you're driving a car with a hoodie on, hood over your noggin', I'll think you're planning to do something illegal and the hood will conceal your identity. Wearing a hood while you walk down the street? Got my eye on you, even though I've noticed people wearing hoodies will not make eye contact with me. Is it 90 degrees outside? You're wearing a hoodie with the hood up in that weather? You are obviously up to no good because a hood holds heat in and in that kind of weather, it's cooking your brain and making your skin oily, which causes pimples. Yuck. But I digress from my main point: wearing a hoodie with the hood up is oh-so-wrong! Know how I know? Like I said: The Devil do...

I feel grown up when I wear hoop earrings, like my body is maturing to the point where my ear lobes can take the weight of those big hoops. People seem to pay more attention to me when I wear those big hoops, dangling, jangling, spinning around. And they are dangerous. You could easily get your hoop caught in something and—oooh!—that would be bad. It’s like having a couple of big hula hoops hanging off of your ears. Sometimes I like danger, though. It’s exciting, thrilling. Like riding a rollercoaster only it doesn’t make your stomach sick. But for some reason, when I put on those hoops I want to do wrong things. Listen to music I shouldn’t. Wear clothes that I shouldn’t. Use words that I shouldn’t. I don’t even want to go to church when I wear my big hoops. I don’t understand why having a couple of big circles hanging from my ears makes me feel this way. But it does. And I wear a lot more makeup when I wear the big hoops. It doesn’t make sense to wear those big hoops and not hav...