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How I Spent the Morning of My Birthday? Getting an Oil Change


I am spending my birthday this year getting an oil change. I do not need a TV in the waiting room at the Chrysler dealership while I am waiting for my car to be serviced. I would prefer silence with all of us just sitting here looking at each other every now and then, imagining what the other person's life is like. For example, a woman is sitting across from me who looks like a young Woody Allen and I'm just thinking to myself, “What are the chances on my birthday of seeing a woman who looks like Woody Allen?” Just when I was having doubts about getting an oil change and tire rotation on my birthday, this unexpected gift comes to me.

I also do not need the psycho reality TV shows yelling and screaming in the background. I can sit and read a book or write a few paragraphs on my steno pad while I wait. Same thing for the airport. I don't need a TV or laptop or iPad to babysit for me while my flight is delayed. I can use the time to think, to ponder the meaning of life, and be thankful for the moments when I must wait and not be the one in control. I am a twentieth-century man who has been dragged into the twenty-first century kicking and screaming, or at least with my hands folded across my chest shaking my head “no.” I watch our collective attention span reduced to milliseconds and wonder where all of this is going.

I look up and find another gift directly in front of me: a tall, husky man who looks to be in his early fifties with fingers the size of Polish sausages trying to text on a tiny cell phone. This poor man with a nineteenth-century, industrial-age manufacturing body has been thrust into a twenty-first century smart phone world, hunting and pecking with fat fingers on a little phone. I'm seeing this on my birthday and I'm wondering what I did to get to watch this real-life reality show in the waiting room of a Chrysler dealership?

I've been here now for an hour. I've sneezed three times and received a rousing round of “God bless yous” coming from every direction. But the first problem of the day has surfaced: My left leg is asleep and tingling all of the way down my foot. I am in no shape to be called on by the service adviser to get up and follow him because my car is finished. I've noticed that at this dealership, the service adviser pokes his head in the door, calls the customer's name, and the customer pops up and follows the service adviser either to the service counter to authorize more work or to the payment counter to pay for the work and get the car keys. But with my leg asleep and tingling, I would be unable to get up right now. Five minutes later. Okay, the feeling has returned to my foot and I am ready to rise when he calls my name, a phrase that reminds me of a Christian worship song I really like.

This is what I'm doing on my birthday at 9:45 a.m. So far, so good, even for an oil change.

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