I can tell I am getting older by the way I check to see if the
iron is on. Now that I am nearing fifty, I have noticed it is too
much trouble to bend down and see if the iron is plugged in. I mean,
it is a long way down there and lots of things can go wrong bending
down that far. Dizziness can set in. You can pull a muscle. Wrench
your back. (I am finally learning not to reach into the back seat
while I'm driving the car for that very reason.) It is also way too
much trouble to bend down and unplug the iron to be sure the iron is
turned off. Besides, bending down that far for one thing is really
not a good use of my time. If I'm bending down that far, I better
have more to do than just check the iron. At my age, you just can't
go around wasting your energy on frivolous activities like checking
to see if the iron is plugged in. Wait until there's a few things to
do down there before you commit—picking up paper clips, dryer lint,
stray used softener sheets, etc. Getting down there to check a plug
is a high-effort activity, so don't waste it. Do a few other things
while you're there. Since it is rare for me to have any other
activities planned that I can do while I'm in the dirty lowdown
position, what do I do? Instead of bending, I feel the surface of the iron with my hand
to see if it is hot or not. You might expect that even though I am
getting old, I feel young when I scream like a girl if the iron is on
and it is hot. That's right, I scream like a girl! So feeling the
surface of the iron to see if it is on works for me, even if I
occasionally scream like a girl when the surface is really hot. Then I whip my hair back and forth, blow on my fingers and palms, and unplug the iron from the socket with my toes. I feel young when I do that too.
I have spent most of the past twelve years commuting at least one hour a day: 30 minutes to work, and usually 40 minutes to return home. I have tried a number of things to avoid monotony, such as taking as many different routes as possible. I may be the only person in the world who uses a GPS to commute home from work because I try new routes and end up in unfamiliar places. To make the most of the commuting time, I have tried a number of things. I have listened to the Bible and prayed, although it seems a little irreverent to interrupt the prayer yelling at someone who has cut me off. I have listened to Christian radio, which means I have heard the song " I Could Only Imagine " over 5,000 times. I have listened to pop radio. I have listened to the music of my youth to somehow re-energize portions of the brain and keep my mind sharp. Sometimes, I switch back and forth between Christian and pop radio, alternating between joy and guilt. I have listened to talk radio and sports ...